First time

When you do or feel something for first time, it will always have a special place in your heart. It may be good or bad but it will haunt you forever. I remember the first time I travelled in a bus alone. First journey in train. First time when I spoke in a mike. First day in school after I had a short haircut. First day in Delhi alone in my pg. first day in college. And so on.  

The most special one is the first crush. I don’t really know how he looks now but I remember his 10 year old face as if I have just seen him yesterday. When I look at someone cute on the road, I would remember him. So there is not a single day in past ten years (I had my first crush when I was nine, though I dint really understand what it was at that time.) that have passed without me thinking about him. I want to clarify here that it is not love. It is just a special feeling about him which is (and will be) haunting me.

When I joined a co-ed college after studying in a girl’s school for 4 years, I told myself that I would keep my adrenaline levels under control. I don’t want to be a shy girl who would flinch every time a guy talks to her. To a great extent I kept to my word. There was a guy in my class who became one of my good friends over the past few weeks. My classmates were teasing me with him because he was from my state. But I was totally indifferent towards him. I have no what-ever feeling for him. But yesterday something weird happened to me for the first time. We were talking and he said he got some funny message from my best friend. Then he continued talking but all I could hear was blah-blah. My best friend and he were not that close but still I was jealous. For the first time I felt jealousy because of a guy. And I dint like that feeling. It made me sick. Both these people are my good friends and this feeling just makes me want to puke. I may forget about him or this incident in few months but I may always have to remember this feeling. As I said ‘first times’ may be good or bad but it will haunt you forever.